Go right ahead and surmise that I’m a flighty, uncomplicated dolt because I love celebrity gossip. Fell free to tell me I’m contributing to the problem by bolstering TMZ’s numbers, daily. Yes, dear reader, guilty as charged.

And I gotta admit: part of my gossip website addiction has to do with hating on the people who run them. Shall we…

Ted Casablanca: Bringing it Old Hollywood Style

I go back and forth with Ted. Sometimes, I’m drawn to The Awful Truth as strongly as Holly Golighty to diamonds. And then there are those weeks where his effusive blathering about those Twilight teens makes me want to scream. What is up with that, anyway? It’s weird. My cynical side speculates he was the only popular gossiper willing to be bribed by Summit; but I also doubt the rest of ’em are all that “ethical”. So, the theory falls flat. Ideas?

Lainey: Bringing the Bitch

I’m one of those females who’s not especially offended by the word “bitch”. To me, “bitch” is like “fuck”–multiple meanings and whether it’s a compliment or caustic remark depends wholly on the context. So the fact I think Lainey is a bitch is neither good nor bad. But yeah, for me, she’s that person. The one with whom you almost always agree but still can’t stand. (Keith Olberman also comes to mind.) That Lainey, she’s a master of the hidden brag and there’s something about her that shouts “Control Freak”. But alas, if you’re the kinda person who fully appreciates an erudite Jennifer Garner-lashing, you gotta support the bitch, Lainey, that is.

Harvey Levin: Bringing the Market Share

TMZ is like the Yankees of the gossip world. They ooze cash-money resources and are therefore winning the game. Only certain types of people actually root for the “big guy” and I ain’t one of them. But just like there’s an unloved, overused iPod on my desk, there’s also a bookmark on my computer to Levin’s vanity project. #gossipguilt.

And then there’s the master. The mighty one whose name does not being with an O. The reigning shit-talker gold medalist with whom my cranky ass can not even find fault, Michael K. of Dlisted.